Whoa...

Today:  I am  exhausted.

I know it's been 11 days since my last post.  Can I say that my head is literally spinning around on my neck right now?  I have been sooo busy.  With this busy has come stress and sleepless nights and emotions that I have never felt so strong and blah blah blah.  Needless to say I'm pretty sure I'm fighting off a cold right now.  Here's the play by play and I'll let you know why I'm exhausted... but very truly blessed.

Last week was the FIRST week in I don't know how long that I didn't have a major anxiety episode.  Everything went great!  I absolutely loved it and felt that my life was getting back on track.  I was able to do baptisms at the Temple all by myself last Friday.  This is a major accomplishment for me.  I hate to have to do anything alone.  But I went.  Sure enough I got back to change into my clothes and there were 5 missed calls saying that my sweet little girl was puking at school.  Oops.  Lucky for me I have an awesome husband that ran to her aide and settled her on the couch until I got home.

In between catching throw up, we developed a leak in our roof.  Long story short... I was yelling at the hubs to get his butt back home and I may have been bawling.  Anxiety may have wanted to get the best of me.  However, I had a better handle on it than it had on me and I didn't let it get me down.  We fixed that problem and that was that.  Good to go.

The following 7 days were a whirlwind of I don't even know what because the greatest thing in the world was happening on Saturday and that's all I could think about it.  My parents say that the days leading up to this magical day were hard for them also.  I still didn't let Greta {the name my mom has given the anxiety so I can quit saying my anxiety :)} get me down.  I was in control of her.  Saturday my sweet 91-year-old grandmother was re-baptized as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Forty some years ago she was excommunicated for decisions that she had made that went against the church.  She had taken herself out of the church and washed her hands of it.  Excommunicated means that you have been through the Temple and taken out the special endowments that we do inside.  You've made covenants with Christ.  When these covenants are broken or you decide you don't want to be a part of it any longer, than excommunication comes up.  This means that you are no longer a member of the church.  It was really hard on my family.  A few months ago she decided it was time to be baptized and become a good standing member of our faith.  It was all on her and no one had an influence on her... except for a nice guy that had come into her life 7 years ago to patch some sheetrock for her.  With his wife, this sweet man held my grandmother's hand and helped her reach the point of baptism.  My dad was able to do this for her.  He was a big ball of emotions.  Everyone was.  NO one thought this would ever be a possibility for our family.  It definitely completes a link that had been broken so long ago.  She looked so beautiful that entire day.  I'm so thankful for her faith that did not waiver for soooo many years.

During this great event... I was able to play the piano for a couple of hymns to sing to and prelude/intermission music.  My sister {who was literally about to pop with baby} conducted the music... in between contractions.  I can't put much detail into this one yet either because she's waiting until she's home... but I'm happy to be an aunt for the first time :).  It's a love that I have never experienced and I enjoy this little bugger so dang much.  There will definitely be more to come.  Promise.

I wanted to embrace Cyber Monday and have a huge headwrap sale on Etsy.  Now I'm facing a stupid cold.  I know it's my body's way of saying "yo... let's slow down for a minute".  I feel that it's probably smarter to listen and not let myself get too worn out.  It's a gamble if I'll even sale anything that day anyway... and my health is more important.  This is a lesson that I've learned the hard way the past 15 months.  It's okay to say you're not invincible.  It's okay if you don't get the house cleaned today.  It's okay if you cave in and just order take out because you simply are too tired to cook.  It's okay to wear pj pants all day because it's just more comfortable.  All of this is okay.  The most important thing {to me} is that I'm healthy and that I can give my family some of the attention that they deserve from me.  I know that my kids will continue growing so fast and this time I have with them now is precious to me.  That's why it's okay to say "goodnight sewing machine" and "hello popcorn and cuddles".  Plus I can't get sick if I want to snuggle this baby :)

xo, Heather

Brrrr....

Today:  I am   cold  .

Like, for reals.  It's cold here.  We were only at 7 degrees the other morning and the rest of the day we didn't go above 15!  What the heck?!  It finally decided to start snowing Thursday and that usually warms us up.  I never thought 20's would feel so good.  But seriously... brrr.

I'm excited for the holidays this year.  Every year I've gotten better at what to get for gifts.  This year I can officially say that my husband is the only one left to shop for now!  I usually get teased a little bit for being on top of Christmas like this, but the thing is I hate shopping around for gifts not knowing what to get, then I get an idea and it's sold out... everywhere... and then I end up just buying the "next best" thing.  Which usually turns out to be junk.  Plus I really enjoy being able to spend Thanksgiving and all of December with just my family.  I don't have the major worry of gifts.

Every December we do the 12 days of Christmas with the kids.  We used to do this when I was younger and we loved it.  For our little family we have changed it a bit so it can stretch out for the entire month instead of trying to do 12 things the 12 nights before Christmas.  It starts with me making a Christmas countdown chain that we hang up in the dining room.  Every morning a link gets ripped off.  Thirteen links are blank.  Twelve links have something fun on them.  I usually buy a few movies and during these 12 days we'll have a few movie nights.  Sometimes we go to dinner or play a new board game.  One night we go see Santa or drive to see Christmas lights.  I try to find things that make us spend quality time together and enjoy one another.  We also choose a few families or people to do Secret Santa for and spend one night sneaking their gifts to their front doors.  My sweet little girl LOVES doing this one!  Last year was the second year we have done it and I couldn't believe the joy she found in leaving a present for someone.  It warms my heart.

Another reason I love to get my shopping done is that as my kids get older and I see the joy they find in the LDS gospel and Christ, the more I want to spend the month focusing on why we have Christmas.  I feel like being able to spend time with our family is one giant step on this path.  Christmas really is a truly enjoyable and warming time.  I love making meaningful memories with them in both the physical sense and the spiritual sense.  I hope they value this time we spend together and one day do it with their own families.  We do have a secret plan to buy two of our closest neighbors houses and turn our section of the street in our own family sanctuary... so maybe Grandma {me... one day} will just continue this on at my house.  Just kidding.  I know my kids need to sprout wings and fly away from the nest one day. 

BUT, and this is a big but, it is hard to hide this many presents around our house.  Really hard.  I mean... really hard.  It takes a lot of plotting and planning and focus.  One slip up and I've destroyed Santa Claus.

I better go find a way to warm up...

xo, Heather

Strong

Today:  I am   strong  .

Or at least I am trying to be strong.  Do you ever have those times when something said to you or another person's actions or just something silly triggers something inside of you that you don't like to be triggered?  Maybe it's from a bad experience or maybe it's a fear or makes you nervous.  I've been dealing with this.  I always wonder at what point this will go away and this "bad experience" will no longer be within me.  Turns out that it's going to take longer than I thought it would.  Then I'm left with deciding how to overcome this.  I know the Sunday School answers... prayer, scriptures, Heavenly Father, my family.  I look to all of that for support.  But how can I make my head go "eh... whatever"?  That's what I want to figure out.

I've learned the last few months that trials never really leave us.  Sometimes it's big enough that it makes an entire change in our family dynamic.  Sometimes it's small enough to jolt us, but really we can snap back easily.  I savor the strength and happiness that I am beginning to feel more and more of.  I wish that I could say it's something that sticks around constantly.  Unfortunately, it doesn't take much and those feelings are whisked away from me quicker than they came.  Anxiety is a pain in the butt like that.  For example... having a dental check-up and cleaning last week, the dentist asked if I had recently bit my tongue because of a sore on it.  I wasn't sure if I had or not but it seemed likely after eating as much Halloween candy as I had.  He could have stopped there.  He could have left it at a sore on my tongue and checked it out without saying a word.  He did not do that however.  He went on to say that sometimes a sore like this is a sign of tumors in your tongue and then let me know he was checking the back of my mouth and tongue for signs of a tumor.  He also felt the lymph nodes in my neck.  Pretty sure it was Halloween candy... and while I'm thankful to him for being so thorough, I still walked out mad.  I didn't let him know I was mad.  But I was.  I was mad because I knew that my mind was going to run wild with this.  Despite my best efforts to control the storm brewing inside my head, I suddenly found myself worrying about health problems again.  It was only for a couple of days but during those couple of days I lost track of things I should have been doing.  Things that help maintain my happiness.  As soon as I got back on track I felt better. 

I've been struggling with a few things lately that are mostly brought up from my past.  Sometimes I don't know how to handle things so I just sweep them under the rug.  They eventually fester and irritate me... then make their way to the surface and I have to deal with them.  I've found that these problems don't necessarily make me have anxiety, but instead bring me down.  I don't know which is worse... depression or anxiety!  It's like when you know you need to vacuum your floor but for some reason you find yourself to busy to get it done.  It gets worse and worse... but you still just can't take care of it.  Then one day you have a free minute... whip out the Dyson {which I don't have, but wish I did}... and ta-da!  Your floor is cleaned!  In that moment, before you put the vacuum away, the peace and happiness that is felt is priceless.  I keep telling myself if I just deal with these "problems" I'll probably feel that peace.  They won't keep festering like a bad infection.  They won't keep weighing on my shoulders.  I also know that these "problems" can be hard and bring about experiences that I really don't want to encounter right now.  This is when I turn to prayer.  I rely on the Lord to help me through these times.  It's times like this that I realize no matter how strong I like to think I am, I still have a ways to go.

I'm very thankful for having my eyes opened to these things within me that need to be "fixed" or mended.  I'm thankful for the tools that I'm learning to help me through this.  I've noticed more and more daily that my sweet little girl is anxious.  I see the signs that I have in me of anxiety.  I see how she handles problems, the tantrums she throws, the stress she carries over simple things and I realize that she is dealing with a much bigger issue.  I'm thankful for recognizing this.  I now know that punishing her or grounding her is not the way to handle the situation.  I'm trying to find things she can do to make her feel in control and keep her mind busy.  Luckily she is a very creative little soul.  A good art project always seems to calm her.  I hope I can relay the same hope and strength to someone else in the world :)

xo, Heather

Family Night

This is what we are reading tonight for Family Home Evening.  This is technically our first Family Night... keep your fingers crossed it goes without a hitch :)  How can this talk apply to your own family or home? 

 

For Peace at Home

By Elder Richard G. Scott

{talk copied and pasted from the lds.org website}

 

Many voices from the world in which we live tell us we should live at a frantic pace. There is always more to do and more to accomplish. Yet deep inside each of us is a need to have a place of refuge where peace and serenity prevail, a place where we can reset, regroup, and reenergize to prepare for future pressures.

 

The ideal place for that peace is within the walls of our own homes, where we have done all we can to make the Lord Jesus Christ the centerpiece.

 

Some homes have a father who is a worthy priesthood holder joined by a faithful, devoted mother who together lead in righteousness. Many homes have a different configuration. Regardless of your circumstances, you can center your home and your life on the Lord Jesus Christ, for He is the source of true peace in this life.

 

Be certain that every decision you make, whether temporal or spiritual, is conditioned on what the Savior would have you do. When He is the center of your home, there is peace and serenity. There is a spirit of assurance that pervades the home, and it is felt by all who dwell there.

 

The fulfillment of this counsel does not rest upon parents alone, although it is their role to lead. Children can be responsible for improving the Christ-centered efforts in the home. It is important for parents to teach children to recognize how their actions affect each individual who lives in the home. Children who are made to feel accountable for their actions, whether righteous or otherwise, grow to become trustworthy citizens in the kingdom of God.

 

I’m sure you can identify the fundamental principles that center your home on the Savior. The prophetic counsel to have daily personal and family prayer, daily personal and family scripture study, and weekly family home evening are the essential, weight-bearing beams in the construction of a Christ-centered home. Without these regular practices it will be difficult to find the desired and much-needed peace and refuge from the world.

 

Be obedient to the prophetic teachings Christ would have you follow. Don’t rationalize away future happiness by taking shortcuts instead of applying sound gospel principles. Remember: little things lead to big things. Seemingly insignificant indiscretions or neglect can lead to big problems. More importantly, simple, consistent, good habits lead to a life full of bountiful blessings.

 

You children in the Primary, you young men and women in youth programs, and you stalwart missionaries now serving are doing many things more effectively than I was able to do at your age. In the premortal life you proved to be valiant, obedient, and pure. There you worked hard to develop talents and capacities to prepare yourselves to face mortality with courage, dignity, honor, and success.

 

Not long ago you came to mortality with all of those magnificent capacities and endless possibilities. Yet there is real danger in the environment surrounding you. Your great potential and ability could be limited or destroyed if you yield to the devil-inspired contamination around you. However, Satan is no match for the Savior. Satan’s fate is decided. He knows he has lost, but he wants to take as many with him as he can. He will try to ruin your goodness and abilities by exploiting your weaknesses. Stay on the Lord’s side, and you will win every time.

 

You live in a world where technological advances occur at an astounding pace. It is difficult for many of my generation to keep up with the possibilities. Depending on how technology is used, these advances can be a blessing or a deterrent. Technology, when understood and used for righteous purposes, need not be a threat but rather an enhancement to spiritual communication.

 

For example, many of us have a personal electronic device that fits into our pocket. We are seldom without its company; we may refer to it many times a day. Unfortunately, these devices can be a source of filth and wasted time. But, used with discipline, this technology can be a tool of protection from the worst of society.

 

Who could have imagined not very many years ago that the full standard works and years of general conference messages would fit into your pocket? Just having them in your pocket will not protect you, but studying, pondering, and listening to them during quiet moments of each day will enhance communication through the Spirit.

 

Be wise in how you embrace technology. Mark important scriptures on your device and refer back to them frequently. If you young people would review a verse of scripture as often as some of you send text messages, you could soon have hundreds of passages of scripture memorized. Those passages would prove to be a powerful source of inspiration and guidance by the Holy Ghost in times of need.

Doing all we can to invite the gentle, guiding influence of the Holy Ghost into our lives is critical in our attempts to center our homes on the Savior. Acting obediently on those promptings strengthens us even more.

 

Greater peace will come as you couple your efforts to be obedient with serving those around you. So many individuals who have what they perceive to be meager talents humbly and generously use those talents to bless the lives of those around them. Selfishness is the root of great evil. The antidote for that evil is exemplified in the life of the Savior. He shows us how to focus our lives outward in unselfish service to others.

 

I have learned a truth that has been repeated so frequently in my life that I have come to know it as an absolute law. It defines the way obedience and service relate to the power of God. When we obey the commandments of the Lord and serve His children unselfishly, the natural consequence is power from God—power to do more than we can do by ourselves. Our insights, our talents, our abilities are expanded because we receive strength and power from the Lord. His power is a fundamental component to establishing a home filled with peace.

 

As you center your home on the Savior, it will naturally become a refuge not only to your own family but also to friends who live in more difficult circumstances. They will be drawn to the serenity they feel there. Welcome such friends into your home. They will blossom in that Christ-centered environment. Become friends with your children’s friends. Be a worthy example to them.

 

One of the greatest blessings we can offer to the world is the power of a Christ-centered home where the gospel is taught, covenants are kept, and love abounds.

 

Years ago, following a mission tour, my wife, Jeanene, told me about an elder she had met. Jeanene had asked him about his family. She was surprised as he responded that he had no family. He further explained that at his birth, his mother had given him to the government to raise. He spent his childhood going from one foster home to another. He was blessed as a teenager to find the gospel. A loving ward family had helped him to have the opportunity to serve a mission.

 

Later Jeanene asked the mission president’s wife about this fine elder. She learned that a few months earlier this elder had been in the mission home for a few days due to an illness. During that time he had joined them for a family home evening. Before he left to go back into the field, he asked the mission president if he could spend two or three days at the end of his mission in the mission home again. He wanted to observe how a Christ-centered family functions. He wanted to be able to pattern his family after theirs.

Do all you can to have just such a home. Reach out to those living in adverse circumstances. Be a true friend. This kind of enduring friendship is like asphalt that fills the potholes of life and makes the journey smoother and more pleasant. It should not be a resource used to gain personal advantage but a treasure to be appreciated and shared. Welcome into your home others who need to be strengthened by such an experience.

 

I offer some final thoughts for those who love a family member who is not making good choices. That can challenge our patience and endurance. We need to trust in the Lord and in His timing that a positive response to our prayers and rescue efforts can occur. We do all that we can to serve, to bless, and to submissively acknowledge God’s will in all things. We exercise faith and remember that there are some things that must be left to the Lord. He invites us to set our burdens down at His feet. With faith we can know that this straying loved one is not abandoned but is in the watchcare of a loving Savior.

 

Recognize the good in others, not their stains. At times a stain needs appropriate attention to be cleansed, but always build on his or her virtues.

 

When you feel that there is only a thin thread of hope, it is really not a thread but a massive connecting link, like a life preserver to strengthen and lift you. It will provide comfort so you can cease to fear. Strive to live worthily and place your trust in the Lord.

 

We need not worry if we can’t simultaneously do all of the things that the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him one consistent step at a time.

 

I bear testimony that living an obedient life, firmly rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ, provides the greatest assurance for peace and refuge in our homes. There will still be plenty of challenges or heartaches, but even in the midst of turmoil, we can enjoy inner peace and profound happiness. I testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the source of that abundant peace, in the name of Jesus

Christ, amen.

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It's Saturday!

Today:  I am   well, let's be honest... cleaning  .

It's Saturday.  With appointments up the wazoo this week, I have a big list of cleaning to do!  Holy cow... I can't believe how quickly your house can become dirty skipping just a couple of days of the usual pick up and sweep.  Granted, I know my house isn't filthy, but it is my anxious mind.  I have found out recently from my therapist that anxious people tend to have their houses clean, plans made for various days and things "put in order".  It's our way of dealing with an anxious, busy mind.  It helps us to feel in control.  She nailed it!  I am that way but for my whole life I have been labeled as bossy.  As I learn more about anxiety, I look at my sweet little 6 year old daughter.  I see a lot of myself in her... I'm also picking up on signs of anxiety.  I've been trying to really learn techniques and things that help me to maintain it within me.  It's been a struggle, but I have found some tried and true things that I try to do daily now.  They include exercise {which I feel I do the bare minimum and I still feel benefits from it}, meditation and yoga, a few mental techniques AND finding my talents.  I have learned that by finding and following talents and gifts that I have, my head tends to be less busy.  I focus on something creative rather than destructive to me.  This is what I want to focus on for this post... and then I'll go clean :)

We were given talents and gifts before we came to Earth and received our bodies.  Sometimes it's very clear what our talent or gift is.  Other times wanting to find a talent or gift begins a journey of self discovery.  I have played the piano since I was 6 years old.  I always thought this was my one true talent.  I thought this was it.  And I appreciated it!  As I have gotten older, I've wondered if there was more to me than I was allowing.  Only in the last few years have I diligently searched out for these special things.  I have always felt a tad creative.  I don't know if I'm any good at making anything, but I love the creative process.  Picking out fabrics {Mmmm...}, picking out colors of paint or paper, picking out BUTTONS {love buttons}, putting them together.  I love it!  I love how my mind can wander and become completely engulfed in a project.  However, for the longest time, I wasn't sure what kinds of projects any of this stuff could make!  I just bought them :)

When I became a single mom, I searched for a way to supplement my income without finding a second job.  I started a shop on Etsy.  It began with picture frames and then evolved into hair bows and clips for babies and little girls.  A time came when I needed pj's for my little baby girl.  The stores were all putting out springtime and summer pj's.  When you live in northern Utah, springtime doesn't always include sunshine and warmth!  You can literally use your heater AND AC in the same day!  So I knew that these pj's weren't going to fly for my baby.  I decided to make them.  I had always loved using my sewing machine, but had unfortunately not found anything to use it for.  I made pj's for my baby and soon the Etsy shop included pj sets.  The next Christmas, I had enough Christmas orders that it provided a really great holiday for her without having to break into my budget!  I couldn't believe it.  A love for sewing {and a talent} was born.  I'm still working on my sewing skills.  I know I have a lot to learn.  But it has brought me great joy being able to sit in front of my machine and try to turn these piles of fabric I have accumulated into something. 

I think that we are given talents and gifts not only because we need something to do in this life to keep our minds busy, but because it helps us and others.  It gives us a general sense of well being.  Think about it... I know for me personally, I can listen to piano music and fall into a world of calmness.  I have a few pianists that I love, but anyone that can play will whisk me away.  They don't realize that not only is their talent amazing and beautiful, but also helpful.  Talents don't always involve playing or making or becoming something.  I think it's a wonderful talent when someone can be positive and happy all of the time.  What a great gift!  It makes me as an anxious, depressed person wish that I could have received this gift!  Then I realize that I have the power to take on these great attributes.  I just have to find a different approach then that person does. 

The beauty that surrounds us is the greatest gift to us all... but the beauty that people bring is just as great.  Think of paintings and artwork and how they make you feel.  Think of the knowledge a wonderful doctor {and this includes all levels of medical care... I have learned this very, very recently} and how safe or healthy they can make you feel.  Or like previously mentioned, that person who always smiles and is happy.  You can't help but find yourself smiling.  All of these things are so healing to others.  So helpful and gratifying.  Doesn't it make you want to know what you are capable of?  What if a talent you have yet to discover could bring about just an ounce of happiness in someone else?  Would you attempt it?  Would you try to find it or discover it?  I think it's worth the search.

xo, Heather

Feeling Healthy

Today:  I am   healthy  .

Everybody has their own triggers.  There is something that sets you off... whether it triggers anxiety, depression, stress or just plain old being mad.  It can be anything from the way your husband leaves the toilet seat up {which I always thought was a lame complaint... until I married that guy.  Holy cow can't you just put it down???} or something more extreme, which in my case is "health problems".  Triggers aren't always negative though.  Some things can also trigger wonderful emotions of love or happiness or gratitude.  Hopefully the toilet seat being left up doesn't make you sublimely happy, but maybe the kind act that follows from your husband to say sorry does.

As I said, my trigger is health problems.  I mentioned it before... I can feel a funny feeling and instantly think I need the ER.  It's become an almost embarrassing problem.  It has also debilitated me throughout most of my days.  I've talked about it with my therapist and we came to the conclusion that it comes from my little guy's birth.  It's a valid reason.  That was a scary event for me.  Not knowing how I'd turn out in the end, how he'd turn out in the end or just even what the heck was really happening.  It's carried on with me and has set off an even bigger problem.  I'm very proactive in my health care.  I feel that there is a reason we should have an annual physical exam and dang it, I WILL have my annual exam!  I even make my kids go for well child checkups.  We don't miss one... even though their doctor keeps "reminding" me that it's not absolutely necessary for healthy kids.  But aren't physical exams the exact reason why we have healthy kids or being healthy yourself?  I look at it as a day set apart from the rest of the year that you can poke and prod and complain and walk out knowing you are a-ok.  To me, physical exams and preventative care are necessary even if they are a pain in the butt.

So today, I am healthy.  I have to keep telling myself that.  I know that I am because I have literally seen the inside of my belly AND had my blood drawn so many times that I KNOW I am healthy.  The anxiety likes to try to tell me otherwise though.  My therapist told me {and I know I've read it in scriptures} that sometimes you have to trust in faith and "not of the flesh of the arm"... or something like that.  Which basically means you just need faith in knowing that you are okay and God wants you okay.  Sometimes health problems are thrown in your face.  Sometimes cancer does pop up.  Sometimes you get a mental problem... I know that one really well lately.  But having faith in God and knowing that there is a plan for you makes it a bit better.  This is something that I work hard on.  When I feel a bit down, I try to tell myself that I'm really okay.  There's nothing to be down about.  Let's face it though... sometimes you need a pj day with a blanket and sappy sitcoms.  Right?  I know I do once in a while.  Even though my results have shown me that I am actually a healthy person, faith is what helps me to actually believe those results.  It's a funny thing... results are shown to me... faith is believed and yet I turn to it more.  I truly believe that having faith is what makes our trials bearable.  I know that a lot of people live with things much worse than I do.  I know some people are facing their own mortality because of cancer or a disease or something... I was introduced to a nice gentleman at the Temple last night who is living with a terminal brain tumor.  You wouldn't have even known he was sick because of the way he was talking.  The light in his eyes and the happiness in his face helped me to see that trials can be blessings in disguise.  Even if it isn't much, there is always a small sliver of good or something positive in everything that seems bad.

I know this "mental" problem of mine has brought about beautiful blessings in my life.  I was able to attend the Temple last night and do baptisms for some beautiful women that lived in the 1800's.  I've also put myself and my family on a healthier diet... which is the Word of Wisdom, and really besides the fact that it is an LDS thing, the Word of Wisdom is an awesome way to fuel your body.  It's really just basics that we learn growing up.  I've also found many wonderful benefits of having renewed faith.  This trial has helped me in ways that I didn't know I needed help.  Because of that I am able to feel a  bit healthier.

The other wonderful thing about this trial of mine... and having health "scares"... is that I have been introduced to the most wonderful lady in the world.  She is a CNM {Certified Nurse Midwife} and she's got my back!  I used to do medical billing for midwives and found a love for their practice.  I knew that I would never personally use a midwife, but I loved the passion that they felt for the health of their patients.  Well, now I am going to one for my own health.  She loves to look for ways to naturally help our bodies.  Supplements, vitamins, every day changes... we are on the same page.  I am very sensitive to medications.  An Ibuprofen can make me bruise and bleed like you wouldn't believe.  Turns out, so does Fish Oil but that has nothing to do with this :)  She has found a way to help restore my body AND my brain with a few simple things.  On top of that, I also walk on the treadmill everyday for 45 minutes {and yes I said walk because I don't run.  I don't think I can run.  Pretty sure I'm just a walker.  But I do read a book while I walk.  How's that for skill?} and try to do yoga at least 3 times a week.  Both of these things also help to clear my mind and make me feel more peaceful.  This super awesome wonderful lady has helped me in so many ways... I look forward to the days when I get to have a follow up with her.  Today, for example, I got to see her and we both agreed on the subject of physical exams.  See??  She gets me.  And she's been a total blessing in my life.  Really, she should have been put on my post yesterday because I now have a life long friend that I know I can trust with my health.  Trusting her AND having faith in my health has made me a stronger person.

I'm not trying to preach to everyone and say do a better job of getting in to your exams or do better with your health.  These are just simply things that I have found to help with my anxiety and even my depression.  They benefit me and I hope they can benefit someone else out there.  I'm happy to let you know the supplements I take if you ask nice :)  The point I am trying to make is that everyone has something.  There's always something to set you back or frustrate you.  There are also ways to deal with it.  I didn't think there was.  I thought this was it for me.  I'm very thankful for having the knowledge that I do now about my own body and feeling like I'm in more control of it.  I'm thankful that I have found a good first few steps toward "healing" myself.  I know anxiety will never leave.  But the more I focus on helping the struggle throughout the day, the less I'll feel like I'm living in fear.

xo, Heather

Befriended

Today:  I am   befriended  .

I am humbled today by people that have come into my life.  Not just recently... but even years ago.  It seems like when you need it the absolute most, you either meet someone new or you find out something new about someone you already know. 

During the course of the last couple of months, I have had the opportunity to ponder and pray about whether or not it is my time to go through the Temple.  This is something that I hope to be able to talk more about farther down the road... but right now I'm just skimming the edge :)  Going through the Temple is a huge responsibility and blessing.  My husband is not 100% active in the church.  While he was born and raised LDS, he had decided after high school to quit going.  He goes with the kids and I on Sundays, but going through the Temple is not on his list right now.  Which is fine.  He totally has his free agency to choose.  I, however, have been feeling the promptings more and more.  Especially since I've been trying to dig myself out of this anxiety hole.  If you are fortunate enough to have an LDS Temple near your home, I strongly encourage you to visit and walk around the Temple grounds.  You don't have to be a Mormon to appreciate the architecture, the beauty and the care that goes into the Temple.  They are truly gorgeous buildings.

Anyway... I decided instead of making this huge decision right now, that I would start at the beginning and do Baptisms at the Temple.  I met with our ward's bishop and was found worthy to receive my Limited Use Temple Recommend.  This is big.  This is awesome.  This means that I have come full circle in my life and I am able to do a small bit of Temple work.  The feelings that come from this are incredibly comforting... and exciting!  As members of the church, we have to be worthy to attend and do work in the Temple.  Once we have done our own work we can go back numerous times and complete work for those who have left this life and did not have the opportunity.  It is a truly spiritual way of helping people.  It all begins with Baptisms.  We serve as proxy to those who need baptism.  Please keep in mind that we do not scout out deceased people and just start doing work for them.  It is entirely work that the family WANTS done and not that we think needs to be done.  Our youth was given the challenge of providing their own family names to do Temple work for not too long ago.  I was amazed to hear a young woman in our ward say that she helped a lady in her previous ward that had acquired 9000 names!  Can you believe that??  I'm really excited to be able to help out with this great work.  Which leads me to my post today... being befriended.

This has come in many ways recently.  One of which is through my ancestors.  As I have looked into my past and read about some of the amazing people that I come from, I have found that I have a great legacy before me.  I can't help but feel that these men and women look down on me and can help through my trials.  I also can't help but feel that I really, really want to do better with my own life so that I can continue the legacy that they left for me.  The strength, the endurance, the love and the faith that I have come from is amazing.  While technically grandpas, grandmas, uncles and aunts... I consider these "heroes" of mine to be some of my best friends.  I truly see where I come from now. 

Another incident that I had recently involved a good friend in my ward.  Together we visit a few of the women in our ward.  It's called Visiting Teaching.  Some loathe it.  Some love it.  I'm somewhere in the middle.  My partner {this friend that I just mentioned} let me in on something that she had experienced in her life.  We were talking about anxiety and I'm telling her how I was just about convinced that I was dying some days.  She expressed her understanding to me and that she had also gone through this... but a bit worse than me.  She had convinced herself she had MS and had undergone many different tests to determine if she really did.  The power of the brain is almost scary.  Fortunately, she eventually determined it was anxiety and she's doing much better.  Can I tell you the relief I felt?!  Here was someone who I consider a good friend, who I look up to, and she knew EXACTLY how I have felt.  Exactly.  What an incredible thing to have someone in your life and then find out that this person needed to be in your life.  Even if it was for something as simple as this.  Just to be able to say "I know."

This last one goes back to what I had rambled on about at the beginning... baptisms.  I haven't done this for 18 years.  Needless to say, I have been a bit nervous about it.  Not knowing the process or what to expect or will my makeup run when I come out of the water... it's a big deal!  My sweet sister in law and her teenage daughter are coming with and doing baptisms also!  These amazing ladies have been in my life for only 5 years now.  I've talked to them countless times.  I've been to birthday parties with them, kids baptisms, funerals, many family parties.  I know these people.  They're my peeps.  Literally... they're my family.  Knowing that they want to be there to not only support me but also to do their own work is so touching and warming to my heart. 

When I say "I am befriended", I mean it as today I feel blessed to have the people I do in my life.  I'm always thankful for those around me.  Especially my family.  But I truly and honestly believe that certain people are put in your path for a reason.  It could be someone at the grocery store helping you with your groceries, a teacher, a neighbor, a complete stranger that smiles hello at you.  These people all have a place in your life.  Sometimes the reasons are very clear and you know why you have them.  Sometimes it takes a little bit of time and then you receive the "a-hah" moment and you know why you know this person.  I have felt this lately.  Knowing that there is true understanding with my anxiety, there is true support for me when I need it and that my ancestors at some point had to have felt discouraged but had the strength to continue on... these thoughts and friends all comfort me and help me to be a stronger person than I have been.  Smile more at people.  For one thing, smiling is easy.  More importantly you never know if that person needs to see that smile from you.

xo, Heather

New Direction...

Was July seriously my last post?  Why yes.  Yes it was.  It turns out that the blog is getting ignored.  Can you tell??  I've been trying to decide why it is and I came to this conclusion over the weekend:

When I was going through my divorce five years ago, I found peace and comfort in my blog.  I blogged about how hard it was, how liberating it was on some days, how sad it was, how happy it turned out to be most days... I blogged it all.  I didn't hold back.  It wasn't that I was out to attack him or anybody else, it was that I was trying to quiet my mind and let everything go without doing so in front of my sweet baby girl.  I also hoped that it would bring peace to at least one other person in the world that may stumble across my blog and say "hey... she feels me."  I know that this happened to me personally many times during this long trial.  Unfortunately, because of nastiness that didn't need to arise, I had to put my blog on private and then eventually just end it.  Going private meant that I wasn't free to express myself to the world.  Only the people who truly wanted to read what I had to say every single day.

So this last year has brought a trial that I am slowly starting to be thankful for.  I thought bringing back a blog to introduce and launch Lemon Polka Dots stuff would give me the freedom I once felt.  Turns out that I don't actually like advertising for myself all of the time :)  I'm really bad about it on Instagram too... but hey... you can see what else is going on in my life there.  My very first post on this blog was a bit personal.  I talked about why my blog is called I am Lemon Polka Dots.  To me it means I am __________.  Everyday is a journey and the blank takes on a whole new meaning during that journey.  It changes constantly.  Sometimes even during the day!  The blog is now going a new direction.  I will include all of my shop stuff and new products and sales and blah blah... but that will mostly be on Instagram { @shoplemonpolkadots }.  This is going to be a place of peace and comfort for me and for whoever needs to find it.

The new direction:  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I am a Mormon.  I am proud to be a Mormon.  Would I like everyone in the world to find my faith?  Most definitely.  Am I open to people just being themselves and knowing that we can have lots and lots of common ground even if we are different faiths?  Most definitely ditto.  Our church loves missionary work.  You may have seen our young men and women out and about.  They have the famous black name tags that say "Elder" or "Sister So and So".  I have recently found myself wishing that I would have served a mission way back when.  It never even crossed my mind... and quite frankly I was NOT in the place in my life to do so.  We learn and teach weekly that we can serve as missionaries everyday.  I haven't been very good at this.  I'm too shy... and yet I wish I would have served.  Haha.  I recently had an experience with a very close family member that I didn't see as missionary service at the time.  My eyes are now wide open to that fact.  I can't share it just yet but it will be on the blog as soon as I can though.  Promise. 

At church this past Sunday, we learned many wonderful things and so many people had so much to share.  It was very personal and beneficial for me simply because I have been through the worst trial of my life.  I can say that because this one was super hard {and still is} for me.  My sweet neighbor made a comment during Sunday School about how your trials make you stronger so that you can then help other people going through the same thing.  Hmmm.... this is what led me to the new direction on the blog.  Helping people.  I'm finding myself wishing I had served a mission... I've endured a hard trial recently... I have a blog that could potentially reach MANY people.  Hmmmm..... the new direction is that I'm going to share my trial with you.  This blog is going to become my personal journal.  Kind of.  I have a personal journal that I won't put on here.  But this is a close second.  This is for me to share my struggles, my feelings, my joy, my peace, my faith and my healing.  This is NOT to offend anyone or tear anyone down.  If any of my words do so then I am very, very sorry.  It's not intentional.  My hope and my prayer is that this blog will help at least one person {or maybe two} to see that someone understands them in their "worst" time or maybe when they just need a little boost.  I'm not out to convert anyone to my faith, but if that happens then hey... that's awesome :)  There will still be shop stuff {www.lemonpolkadots.etsy.com} but mostly I want to fill in the blank everyday with something to help or touch someone.

Today:  I am   hopeful  .

With ALL of that being said {and that was as LOT}, let's skip back to about a year ago.  I'll make this short and sweet.  Basically, here's an introduction to me.  I gave birth to my sweet little guy Sept 4, 2013.  I didn't even know that I was in labor.  I had gone in for a check up at 38 weeks and ended upstairs in Labor and Delivery.  Fully effaced, dilated to a 5 and contractions every 5 minutes.  No idea.  He is my second baby.  You'd think I would have known.  I definitely knew with the first one!  But nope.  A doctor came in to break my water and our little dude pretty much high fived him.  He stuck his arm up above his head.  At first it was funny... then it wasn't... and then it really wasn't.  After a few hours of not being about to get his arm back down and realizing his heart rate was dropping and taking longer to come back up, I ended up with an emergency C-section.  Not the plan.  I was scared.  I was panicked.  I was terrified.  I had my husband and daughter and both of our moms there with me.  As they wheeled me out of the room to head down the hall to the surgical room, I took a look at my sweet little girl.  I lost it.  I didn't know what to expect or what was going to happen.  My husband was so great holding my hand the entire time.  Long story short... after this "traumatic" event {I say "traumatic" because it was scary, but thankfully everything was fine and our sweet little boy was born without any problems whatsoever} I sunk into Post Partum Depression.  I had know idea until quite a few months following his birth.  Just as I'm about to climb out of the depression pit, I was hit with anxiety.  And this is when my trial begins.

The pain and discomfort you feel after a C-section is expected.  It's a major surgery.  The pain I felt was more internal and spiritual.  When anxiety hit, I didn't realize it.  I just thought I had become paranoid.  I always knew that I had anxiety.  I'm a worry wart.  Always have been.  This was worse.  I would feel scar tissue under my scar and immediately "knew" it had ruptured and I was bleeding to death.  I would feel a gas pain in my side and "knew" that I had a tumor.  One of the kids would get a fever and I "knew" that it was cancer.  This was extreme worrying.  It was tearing me apart.  After several doctor visits and a few trips to Instacare and some blood draws and some poking around and an x-ray, it was determined that I was having problems with constipation.  True story.  I can share this with you because as embarrassing as it could be, my mind had actually led me to believe it was much more.  That scared me.  I sought the help of a therapist who helped me to see how my little guy's birth had affected me.  I was literally carrying the fear that I felt that day with me.  By this point he had turned 1.  For one whole entire year I was still feeling the fear from his birth day.  ONE year!  I know that other's have this much worse than me... but I felt this had gone on too long.  It was time to change.

After another lame doctor's appointment to again be told to use the bathroom and "try drinking Miralax everyday", it was suggested that I go see a CNM in town.  It takes a few months to get in but it's worth making an appointment anyway.  I called 15 minutes before the office closed.  I got in as her very first appointment the next morning.  The Lord was looking down on me.  After a really, really good visit with her {and more blood work}, she was able to put me on some great supplements {I am sensitive to medications so I always try to go herbal when I can.  Not that everyone needs to... but it is a very good alternative to try.} and a thyroid medication.  Turns out my thyroid was a tad low.  It's been a month now and I feel awesome. 

So how is this my trial?  Well... my body is feeling great.  Not great... better.  I walk on my treadmill and read a book at the same time everyday for 45 minutes.  Makes you dizzy the first few times but then you catch on.  I also do yoga and spend 5 minutes everyday meditating.  I'm taking supplements and a very low dose thyroid medication.  You'd think I should be feeling at the top of my game, right?!  I'm still battling anxiety.  These days it's easier.  Some days it's still really difficult for me.  I have been diagnosed by this sweet CNM and my therapist as having Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  No big deal they both tell me.  Common in women my age.  But it is a big deal because I have actually been diagnosed now.  Now it's time for change.  This trial has made me stronger and still does every single day.  I want to reach out to people... not just women... who feel that they have no control over their brains.  That feel like things are worthless.  Or maybe just can't seem to be happy and don't know why.  I want you to know that I truly understand.  From the bottom of my heart.  I want to share with you what helps me in hopes that it may help you.  My trial has brought me peace, a stronger testimony in Christ and our Heavenly Father, more faith or maybe even renewed faith and the opportunity to help.

xo, Heather

I'm here... busy... some changes... my soap box

So... I didn't think that posting headwraps on Etsy would turn into what it has.

Advertise Here:  www.lemonpolkadots.etsy.com

I have been sewing headwraps NON-STOP!  I have forgotten what other projects I have!  But hey... that's what I was shooting for, right??  So to keep this short so I can get back to work before the little dude wakes up, here is a small list of what's been happening here, with my Etsy shop and just things I'm thinking about:

1.  Little dude is going to be 1 in a month... ahh!!  And I'm actually really excited about it.  I love babies.  I love having them and cuddling them and kissing them.  I also really like watching my kids grow and learn and thrive.  So bring on 1!


2.  What's with all the fighting in the world?  I've never been one to stand up and say we need world peace {don't get me wrong... I pray for it and I wish upon a star it would happen all of the time}, but for the first time really in my life I'm watching the news going "holy moley, what the heck is going on??"  It's really terrifying sometimes.  I'm VERY thankful to live in the country I do and to have the freedoms that we have.  The 4th of July brought on a whole new appreciation for me.  BUT I have always been thankful.  Again, don't get me wrong.

3.  We're doing swimming lessons for a second session and this time Miley has a boy teacher.  I asked what his name is.  She replied "He's 17" and then smiled.  Um.... his name?  Don't know.  Does my 6 year old have a crush?  I think so.

4.  I have had to change my headwrap pricing just a bit to help accommodate the demand.  Baby and Girl sizes are now $4.75 and Womens are $6.75.  See?  It was just a bit.

5.  I have had a lot of anger by which I have had to medicate with massive amounts of Diet Mountain Dew... it's my go to stress drink.  I'm Mormon.  I don't drink alcohol :)  Anywho... between stress, anger and Diet MD my body now hates me.  So much in fact that I ended up with blood work just to make sure that it wasn't something more serious.  Lucky for me... it wasn't.  What does that mean?  I need control and it's very hard to find it.  Which diet would be the best for me?  Which exercise can I do the easiest and quickest?  The only thing that has stuck to me without fail is my faith and reading my scriptures.  Sad to see Diet MD go... happy to see results after only a week.  Anyone else have these kinds of times?  What helps you??

6.  Lemon Polka Dots had it's first international order!  Yay for Canada!

7.  Lemon Polka Dots may also have it's first wedding order... yay for weddings and little guys needing bowties!

8.  It's finally raining here in Logan.  Yay!  It hasn't been very much, but it's something.  And of course my husband still decides to water with the sprinklers in the rain.  Hey, when you live in a dry place and haven't had much rainfall PLUS you can only water 2 days a week, you do what you need to do when your day comes up :)

That's it for now.  Follow us on Instagram @shoplemonpolkadots for flash sales and new products!  If you want more of the inside scoop, you can also look me up @hethlarsen.  Here's my name dropping again.... www. lemonpolkadots.etsy.com

Headwraps are on Etsy!

After having another Instagram sale with my headwraps... I have finally listed some on Etsy!  It's about dang time :)

I only have baby sizes listed for sale, but I do offer girls and women sizing as well.  Baby and Girls are $4.50... Women are $6.00.  Please let me know if you need a different size if you'd like to order before I have sizing options listed.

Check out how adorable my friend's baby girl, Monroe, looks in hers!  One of my best customers :)

Homemade Floor Cleaner

I am a sucker for all things homemade lately... meaning cleaning supplies.  I make my own laundry detergent, tried to do dishwasher detergent {not a fan of that one} and now I have found the BEST floor cleaner!  I have to share...

p.s.  I do this to save money but also because I'm not in love with the chemical smells that products are starting to put off.  I have never really noticed it and, honestly, didn't really care until I made laundry detergent.  I don't think I can use the Tide that I used to love so much again.  And did I mention the money??  I spent around $27 to make a batch {with scent included... although I've changed my mind on how I did that.  We'll talk later :)} and so far it has lasted me 11 months.  I still have enough to go for at least 2 more!  That is some serious moolah for ice cream... just saying.

Anyway... the floor cleaner.

1 gallon of water
1/2 cup of vinegar
1/3 cup of rubbing alcohol
some drops of dish soap

Ta-da!  I stirred it all in a bucket and went to town mopping my kitchen floor.  My tile has not looked this good since it was installed.  I'm not just blowing wind up your skirt either... I love it!  It did smell a bit strong with the alcohol but I've read that essential oils can take care of that problem if it really bothers you.  However, I noticed as soon as the floor started to dry then I didn't smell anything at all.  Super easy.  Super cheap.  And super clean!

Clearance at Crazy Adorable!

In my very first post on this blog I put that I started with Etsy selling baby pajamas in a shop called Crazy Adorable.  I absolutely loved doing this.  Especially at Christmas time... I made sooo many pairs of pj's for kids to wear Christmas morning!  It was seriously an honor and a great feeling to get thank you emails from all the happy moms.  I decided that I wanted to head a different way so Crazy Adorable is coming to a close and Lemon Polka Dots is filling in the blanks from now on.  Lemon Polka Dots is more of a children's boutique... as of now I offer receiving blankets, bowties and a few pairs of shoes.  I have a boxful of headbands that need to be listed, not to mention the ever so popular head wraps.  I keep selling them on Instagram {@shoplemonpolkadots or @hethlarsen} and can't get any onto Etsy.  However... they're being made now :)  I also have a million baby shoes that need to be put on there.  Anyway, it's a children's boutique.  That's what I'm getting at in a very long way.

So Crazy Adorable... it's my first love and was my passion.  It helped me through a rough time in life and helped me find a new love.  Sewing.  It's still open with all of the pajama stock that I have on hand at very low clearance pricing.  Check it out!  As soon as the final pair sells then the shop will be closed.

Here's a sneak peak at some of my favorites:

www.crazyadorable.etsy.com

My Favorite Etsy Shop - Artsy Anthropology

Artsy Anthropology {owned, created, and ran by Paige} is on my mind and in my heart today!  So she's getting my Favorite Etsy Shop of the week. 

I have been following Paige on Instagram {@artsyanthropology} and it has been well worth it!  I love the pictures she shares of her new products and also just life.  Period.  She recently adopted a sweet little 3 legged dog from her local Humane Society.  Turns out Wall-E had an injury that had gone unnoticed by the vet when his back leg was amputated and now he needs a hip replacement for the other side.  Paige went right to Instagram for help!  She put up an auction within 24 hours and took bids all day yesterday.  I was really excited to donate a sweet little baby girl package with some shoes and two headbands, as well as a baby boy package with two bowties.  She was able to raise quite a bit of money to help out the Humane Society with the cost of Wall-E's surgery.

So this is why they are on my mind today... first of all I LOVE her stuff!  She has fabrics and colors and patterns that are right up my alley.  I am amazed at the things that she comes up with.  Secondly, she has totally inspired me to keep going on my shop and just be myself when it comes to creating.  I have found a whole new level of love for the projects I dream up.  And third... oh geez... I can not even begin to describe the gratitude and inspiration that I have felt from this circle of Instagram girls.  It started with Artsy Anthropology and has grown from there.  They are there for each other whenever it's needed.  From helping to fund an adoption for a family or helping a dog with surgery... they come out and help and support at any cost.  I have loved finding these women!  I look forward to checking Instagram because I know that I'll find a smile in me or some inspiration and sometimes even a tear.  I'm not a huge fan of Facebook or Twitter... Instagram has completely stolen my heart.

Check out Artsy Anthropology on Etsy {www.artsyanthropology.etsy.com} or on Instagram.  I love Paige's sales and products and I'm sure you will too!  She also offers a monthly subscription to Artsy Crushes.  She sends you a gift every month and included is soooo much swag from so many wonderfully creative women... it's a big box of awesome-sauce!

Here's my recipe for the week.  This dinner was super yummy for my family the other night... it may be on of our favorites that gets made a lot :)... and I thought I'd share it with you guys!  It's really, really simple and doesn't take much time or effort.  It's great for a weekend or Sunday dinner. 

Here's some of my recipe tips...

1. I don't really measure.  I've figured out what tastes my family likes and I season according to that.  What does your family like?  Saves a lot of time not getting out measuring spoons... not to mention adding to the dish load.
2. I swear by packaged shredded cheese.  Don't get me wrong... I'm a fan of the block stuff too.  When you have kids to chase after, the shredded cheese makes it so much easier and quicker to get the job done.  I use shredded cheese in just about everything I make for dinner that needs cheese.  I love to use the Italian flavors for any pastas, lasagnas or alfredo sauces.
3. I may over do it on the amount of veggies that I make.  We love our veggies!  I never put a quantity of how many to cook because I know that I make more than another family may.  Cook the way your family likes!


*Rosemary Steaks

Your favorite kind of steak {does this deserve a duh?}
Rosemary {either fresh or dried... we've done both}
Black Pepper
Kosher Salt

Season steaks with all 3 seasonings.  Sometimes we like to add a bit of chopped garlic or garlic salt.  Your call.

Grill steaks to desired doneness.  The rosemary is a super great compliment to the meat!


*Garlic Cheesy Mashed Potatoes

Russet Potatoes {however many it takes for you to feed your family with mashed potatoes.  We usually do about 8-10 potatoes... we like our taters.}
Garlic Salt
Parsley
Milk
Butter
Italian Shredded Cheese

Boil potatoes until tender enough to mash.  Drain water and place back onto warm stove top.  Add a bit of milk... not too much or they'll be runny.  Add a scoop of butter.  Sprinkle with garlic salt to your liking.  Add some parsley and a couple of handfuls of shredded cheese.  Mash with masher and mix ingredients with potatoes all at the same time.  Ta-da!  Yummy taters.


*Ranch Flavored Corn on the Cob

Corn on the Cob {however many your family will eat}
Packet of Ranch Dip Mix

Husk corn to get all of the hairy stuff off.  Leave enough of the husks to cover the corn.  Not completely but give it a good blanket.  Wash corn off with water.  Using your hand, sprinkle some Ranch onto each cob.  Spread it around.  We like a little seasoning for flavor, but not a ton.  Put Ranch on to your family's liking.  Pull husks back up over the corn and get ready to cook!  We have tried it on a frying pan on the stove.  We turn it every few minutes to get the sides evenly cooked.  Turned out fabulous!  But it's also really yummy to put on a warm grill and cook that way... lots easier when you have more than 3 cobs to cook too :)

Hope it's super yummy!!

Sick kiddo's... :(

We've been hit with sickness at our house.  Pretty sad about it... because we're really bored.  Our little guy started with a fever on Saturday that would not go away.  Finally {after the help of my dad giving him a blessing :)} it broke and the fever was gone.  We thought it was just teething and kept nursing him with Ibuprofen.  Well... Monday he woke up with a giant blister bug bite looking thing on his toe.  I went nuts and called an exterminator AND had my husband pick up some spray for the house and spider traps.  Baby waking up with a bite is NOT okay in my book.  Gross.

Monday afternoon our little chick-a-dee suddenly got really sick.  Same as Cohen... high fever, really sleepy and achy.  When it started reaching 102 after I had given her Tylenol, we decided to drive to Instacare.  Just in case.  She had a strep test done and that wasn't the cause of her sore throat.  The doctor was going to write it off as just being sick... until he saw Cohen's toe.  Turns out Miley and Cohen have picked up Hand, Foot and Mouth disease.  Eek!

So what I'm getting at is that I have been sitting with grouch-o sick kids since Monday night and haven't gotten much done in the blog or sewing world.  Dang it!  But my kids need me and I am happy to be there for them.  Plus we have watched some really great movies :)

The other thing I'm getting at is this... why is it that when someone gets sick with a virus like this everyone seems to think they have some gross disease or illness that is going to kill you if they touch you?  I have gotten just a couple of comments that... let's face it... have hurt just a bit.  I have clean kids.  I have a clean home.  We wash our hands.  In fact, I get mad at my husband because I think he washes them too much.  It was just a case of bad luck and our turn to catch it.  We've been lucky in the ways that Cohen has the one blister and both him and Miley just have sores in their throats.  With the fevers for a day.  I have also been one to jump to conclusions when I hear someone is sick with something like this.  I now know that this kind of judgment is just as hurtful as all the other kinds... judgment is judgment.  Anywho... hug somebody today and show them love.  Even if they're sick.  He/She could probably really use it.

And I've got a great recipe to share...

My Favorite Etsy Shop - Little Batch

I'm back from a few days away dealing with allergies {the little guy has them... wha??  9 months old and already starting.. baffled his doctor} and making head wraps {I have literally sold out of Ladies size and almost Babies... whew.. but more fabric is on it's way!} and just trying to keep up on my house work.  It's been a challenge!  Plus school is out so now I have a little 6 year old to entertain.  Not too hard... she does a good job of it herself with her own imagination.  Anyway... I haven't meant to take such a break from the blogging world.

With everything going on around here, you can imagine my excitement when I got some happy mail!  I had placed an order with an Etsy shop called Little Batch and I am head over heels in love with her lip balm... mmmm... love it to pieces.  So for this week's "My Favorite Etsy Shop" {yeah... this is going to become a thing because I am an Etsy addict} I'm going to give my little review on Little Batch and her amazingly awesome lip balm.

Little Batch {www.littlebatch.etsy.com} is owned by Jen and she lives in NJ.  She makes her own lip balms {and they are peanut oil free for those that have a peanut allergy}, soaps, perfume oils, scrubs, candles, etc.  It's the greatest little apothecary shop I have ordered from to date!  I ordered the Lemon Cheesecake and Vanilla Cupcake lip balms.  Just like I hoped they would be... they are delish.  I almost want to eat them instead of rubbing them on my lips.  Miley stole my Vanilla Cupcake almost as soon as I had taken it out of the packaging.  Being the lip balm addict that I am, I know that Jen will see more purchases from me.  I can't say no to tasty lip stuff!!  Check her shop out!

Thank you!

Yesterday was the first ever Instagram sale for Lemon Polka Dots!  Congrats to Whitney Hale for winning my Baby-licious Giveaway! 

I came away from this thinking #1 I way over made product.  #2 Good thing... now I can stock Etsy and my booth at Ruby Spence.  #3 Selling stuff isn't always what makes a sale successful.  I was able to get quite a few new followers on Instagram and help spread my product around.  All in all... I say "good job!".

If you know me then you'd know that this was a big deal.  Putting yourself out there like that not knowing what is going to happen... yeah... I don't do that often.  I'm very thankful today for very good friends and the support system that I am building.

Thank you to everyone that followed or liked or entered or bought!  I am so thankful and appreciative of you!  If you'd like to become a follower on Instagram the shopping site is @shoplemonpolkadots or you can follow my personal {which also has a lot of shop stuff} @hethlarsen.

Let's build another giveaway... for the little dudes!

Just for the little guys...

Having a baby boy last fall threw me for a loop.  Sure they are easier to get dressed... shirt and pants.  Easy peasy.  No bows.  No headbands.  Tights or frilly things.  Just clothes.  Whew!  BUT, because I am the way I am, I needed more.  I needed boy accessories!  Not the kind that makes him look like he belongs on broad way or is a baby metro-sexual.  No... I just needed a little extra than the same thing every day.  I started shopping for patterns immediately.  I was so excited to find bowties and suspenders!  Perfect!!  Add a little fedora and you've got a mini gentleman ready to take on the town.  And he's pretty super cute at church too... if I do say so.

On Lemon Polka Dots I'm starting to build my bowtie inventory so all of the other little gents out there can have some accessories too!  I haven't gotten many on yet, but after this giveaway and Instagram sale {find me at hethlarsen or shoplemonpolkadots to enter and get some great pricing!} my only focus will be the guys. 

Bowties are currently sized at 3" or 4" lengths.  The necks are adjustable with the handy help of Velcro and are approximately 15" around.  I recommend the 3" bowtie for babies and the 4" for toddlers and even bigger boys.  I have in future plans the idea to make them for bigger guys also.  You are never too old for a bowtie!  I can't get myself to label them as Baby or Toddler because every single baby is different... so I just use measurements.  Makes it sound more manly right??  They are priced at $9.00 regardless of the size.

Suspenders will also be making an appearance!  I love these.  They are one size fits all since they are adjustable.  Tell me... would you like to be able to buy matching sets of bowties and suspenders or mix and match yourself?  This is my big dilemma.  Pricing will be similar to bowties but that hasn't been ironed out yet. 

Check out my Etsy shop at www.lemonpolkadots.etsy.com to have some bowtie fun!!

Giveaway Time!

Oh we have been so sick at our house!  I was so sad that I didn't have time to blog all weekend... but my kiddos needed me more.  Sorry :(  Lucky for us it's finally going away.  Hope to not 'see you later' flu!

I am so excited today!  I am having the first EVER Lemon Polka Dots Giveaway on Instagram!  I have posted a link to my IG profile with a picture of all the great loot.  It's a simple, itsy, bitsy giveaway... but I'm very excited still.  Here's what I'm offering:

** A pair of Mary Janes size 6 months.  These are gray with a white pattern.  The inside is white and pink polka dots.
** A white and teal headwrap size Baby... meaning it's approx. 16" around.  It's turban style and can be worn with the "knot" in the front or the wide band.  Your choice!
** A yellow and white knotted headwrap size Baby.
** A pink and white chevron bowtie headband size Baby.  The bowtie is approx. 3" long. 
** A simple purple flower headband size Baby.
** A black shaggy rose headband size Baby.

Super cute stuff!  Here's how to enter... hopefully I can get one or two of you :)

1. Follow my shop on Instagram @shoplemonpolkadots. 
2. Comment on my post or repost it to your own IG.  Make sure to include #lemonpolkadots so I can give credit where credit is due.
3. Get a friend or two or three to also follow me.  When they comment with your name then you will both get an entry.  This can be limitless!

The entries will go until Memorial Day, May 26th.  I will announce the winner after a random drawing on Tuesday, May 27th.  This will also kick of my first ever Instagram sale!  This sale will only take place on @shoplemonpolkadots so you'll need to make sure to follow!

I'm sooo excited to do this!  Lemon Polka Dots is such a dream of mine and it's slowly but surely becoming a reality. 

The most exciting part is that my sweet little girl helped me put the giveaway together.  She helps me so much picking out fabrics and letting me know what little girls her age like... she lets me know that because she is a genius in all things little girls :)  I love 6 years old.  It has been such a fun age so far!  She's got some sass but she also has plenty of spunk and spark.  Geez... I love and adore her so much.  What a fun thing for us to do together.  Even little guy is getting in on the action.  He loves to look at all of the fun colors in fabric shops... and flirt with the ladies at the cut counter.  He's picked up on that.  I'll be the mom of the guy that is picking up women in Hobby Lobby on the weekends. 

Good luck and in advance THANK YOU!

Lemon Polka Dots

I'm back in the blogging world!  I can't believe it.  I'm so happy!  I love nothing more than to sit at my desk and type away.  For my very first Lemon Polka Dots post I thought I'd tell you a little bit about me and give you some history of how Lemon Polka Dots came about and what exactly it means to me.  Then maybe you won't feel like you're reading a stranger's blog :)

My name is Heather.  I live in Cache Valley which is in Northern Utah.  I absolutely love where I live.  I have been married for just about 2 years to the love of my life.  I'm not being cheesy... seriously the love of my life.  I know that and I can say that.  I have a little girl who is just finishing up Kindergarten.  Do you remember learning to read and do math in Kinder?  I don't.  She sure seems like a mega genius after this year!  I also have an adorable little guy that is just about 8 1/2 months old.  He's pure joy and we are all so happy to have him in our family.

I was a single parent for a few years between a not so fun divorce and marrying my tile laying rock star.  I was lucky enough to work from home but felt that I needed just a bit more of an income to help take care of my sweet little girl.  I started Crazy Adorable on Etsy.  I made and sold infant pj's and I loved it!  I have always known that I have a sick obsession with fabrics... something about the colors and patterns and textures... and that I like to sew.  I did not know, however, how big this obsession could become.  Crazy Adorable helped me at a time when I needed help on a level that I wasn't even aware of.  It gave me confidence.  It gave me strength.  It allowed me to feel more secure being a single mom.  It didn't give a huge income but I felt the blessings throughout.  I eventually got too busy with a new job, a new boyfriend (that rock star I mentioned) and sorting out life.  I sadly had to stop Crazy Adorable.

I was pregnant throughout last summer and it sucked.  So hot.  Don't recommend it.  My husband (the rock star) and I decided that it was time for me to become a 100% mommy.  When you have worked your whole adult life and then you stop, it's scary.  But I made the change... and then got bored.  So I started sewing again.  Pj's didn't have the same excitement for me and it was really hard to get motivated.  We had the little dude in the fall after a pretty exciting C-section... ugh.  I started making him bowties for church.  It turned into suspenders.  Then shoes.  Receiving blankets.  Burp cloths.  Crib sheets.  You name it... I sewed it.  I felt I needed a change and Lemon Polka Dots was born!

So Lemon Polka Dots... to me this means happy.  I have struggled the last five years and even more so this last year.  I have battled depression.  Anxiety.  Sadness.  I'm coming through the storm and seeing beautiful things in my future.  Lemon Polka Dots makes me think of yellow dots and for some reason that makes me happy.  I blogged a lot to help clear frustration back in the day.  Unfortunately that was taken advantage of by people and I had to close my personal blog :(  I'm back now and so excited!  I love to hear about other people's exciting times and sad times... their ideas and their projects... recipes... stories.  Sometimes I find an answer I've been looking for.  Sometimes I find strength.  I hope to be able to provide the same for all of you out there in the world.

Come along on the journey with me!  If you have a project idea or a recipe or something fun that you'd like to share then please contact me.  I'd love to post it for you!  I'll also be having some great giveaways and give you first hand info on sales for the shop... that is slowly but surely growing.

Love, Heather