It's Saturday!

Today:  I am   well, let's be honest... cleaning  .

It's Saturday.  With appointments up the wazoo this week, I have a big list of cleaning to do!  Holy cow... I can't believe how quickly your house can become dirty skipping just a couple of days of the usual pick up and sweep.  Granted, I know my house isn't filthy, but it is my anxious mind.  I have found out recently from my therapist that anxious people tend to have their houses clean, plans made for various days and things "put in order".  It's our way of dealing with an anxious, busy mind.  It helps us to feel in control.  She nailed it!  I am that way but for my whole life I have been labeled as bossy.  As I learn more about anxiety, I look at my sweet little 6 year old daughter.  I see a lot of myself in her... I'm also picking up on signs of anxiety.  I've been trying to really learn techniques and things that help me to maintain it within me.  It's been a struggle, but I have found some tried and true things that I try to do daily now.  They include exercise {which I feel I do the bare minimum and I still feel benefits from it}, meditation and yoga, a few mental techniques AND finding my talents.  I have learned that by finding and following talents and gifts that I have, my head tends to be less busy.  I focus on something creative rather than destructive to me.  This is what I want to focus on for this post... and then I'll go clean :)

We were given talents and gifts before we came to Earth and received our bodies.  Sometimes it's very clear what our talent or gift is.  Other times wanting to find a talent or gift begins a journey of self discovery.  I have played the piano since I was 6 years old.  I always thought this was my one true talent.  I thought this was it.  And I appreciated it!  As I have gotten older, I've wondered if there was more to me than I was allowing.  Only in the last few years have I diligently searched out for these special things.  I have always felt a tad creative.  I don't know if I'm any good at making anything, but I love the creative process.  Picking out fabrics {Mmmm...}, picking out colors of paint or paper, picking out BUTTONS {love buttons}, putting them together.  I love it!  I love how my mind can wander and become completely engulfed in a project.  However, for the longest time, I wasn't sure what kinds of projects any of this stuff could make!  I just bought them :)

When I became a single mom, I searched for a way to supplement my income without finding a second job.  I started a shop on Etsy.  It began with picture frames and then evolved into hair bows and clips for babies and little girls.  A time came when I needed pj's for my little baby girl.  The stores were all putting out springtime and summer pj's.  When you live in northern Utah, springtime doesn't always include sunshine and warmth!  You can literally use your heater AND AC in the same day!  So I knew that these pj's weren't going to fly for my baby.  I decided to make them.  I had always loved using my sewing machine, but had unfortunately not found anything to use it for.  I made pj's for my baby and soon the Etsy shop included pj sets.  The next Christmas, I had enough Christmas orders that it provided a really great holiday for her without having to break into my budget!  I couldn't believe it.  A love for sewing {and a talent} was born.  I'm still working on my sewing skills.  I know I have a lot to learn.  But it has brought me great joy being able to sit in front of my machine and try to turn these piles of fabric I have accumulated into something. 

I think that we are given talents and gifts not only because we need something to do in this life to keep our minds busy, but because it helps us and others.  It gives us a general sense of well being.  Think about it... I know for me personally, I can listen to piano music and fall into a world of calmness.  I have a few pianists that I love, but anyone that can play will whisk me away.  They don't realize that not only is their talent amazing and beautiful, but also helpful.  Talents don't always involve playing or making or becoming something.  I think it's a wonderful talent when someone can be positive and happy all of the time.  What a great gift!  It makes me as an anxious, depressed person wish that I could have received this gift!  Then I realize that I have the power to take on these great attributes.  I just have to find a different approach then that person does. 

The beauty that surrounds us is the greatest gift to us all... but the beauty that people bring is just as great.  Think of paintings and artwork and how they make you feel.  Think of the knowledge a wonderful doctor {and this includes all levels of medical care... I have learned this very, very recently} and how safe or healthy they can make you feel.  Or like previously mentioned, that person who always smiles and is happy.  You can't help but find yourself smiling.  All of these things are so healing to others.  So helpful and gratifying.  Doesn't it make you want to know what you are capable of?  What if a talent you have yet to discover could bring about just an ounce of happiness in someone else?  Would you attempt it?  Would you try to find it or discover it?  I think it's worth the search.

xo, Heather